I wanna be your hands...

Today there seemed to be a bit of a theme with the kids... my hands- every time the kids would pile into my lap the wound up with their fingers intertwined with mine... What would Jesus' hands look like? Where would you find them...

As I'm finding myself increasingly captivated by the kids here I'm constantly humbled by their capacity to love. It takes but a moment for them to demonstrate more love through their actions than most adults do in weeks- at one of the orphanages we were visiting today I noticed a child walking around giving each of the other kids a bite of the candy bar he'd just won by beating them in a game... selfless love... Want to see Jesus? Look to the "least of these"...

One of the highlights of this trip has been the opportunity to spend more time with the Romanian staff here- the women who we've been staying with have been unbelievably welcoming- genuine servants hearts... I'm constantly humbled and encouraged by them. Its really been a blessing to hear more of their stories and hearts... something I'll definitely miss. Yet another opportunity to see Jesus.

Towards the end of the night I was talking to Sanda in the kitchen and somehow or another Sandel, one of the boys wound up bringing out Mariana's guitar for me to play, next thing you know Sanda and I are singing worship songs together. Sometimes she sang in Romanian while I sang in English... but we were singing the same song and worshiping the same God... When you're part of the same family language barriers come down pretty fast- by the end of the night the other three girls and Mariana had joined us... what was planned to be an early to bed night got a bit late- but God had something better in store. :o)

What would Jesus' Hands look like...

Rosiori

Yesterday a smaller team of us split of to head to Rosiori,a smaller town about 2 hours away from Bucharest. Here the orphanage system is structured a bit differently where the kids are actually in apartments and we spent the day distributing gifts and hosting Christmas parties. I wasn't sure what to expect, how "useful" we could be since we'd only be with the kids for a few hours at most- and likely wont see these particular ones again. As always, God surprises me with the moments He blesses me with and the lessons I learn.

Moments after we arrived I had kids piled on my lap... I was grateful for two legs so that I could hold more than one at a time! I love how comfortable I feel in the midst of the language barrier... yet another reminder that love is a universal language- I couldn't quite figure out why the kids were so drawn to me- but I wasn't complaining: Fact: I could cuddle orphans all day every day. At the second location more kids piled on me, at one point somehow I was holding three, one of the girls in particular seemed very attached- Rebecca, a staff member translated what she was rapidly saying to me at one point and it was "I love you... I love you a lot." How these kids can have so much love... and pour it out so willingly and freely- something I wish you all could experience. Ever want to know what unconditional love looks like? Spend a few hours loving on an orphan- you'll get so much more in return.

I felt a bit unnerved with the last place we went to, all the kids were older... I'm used to little kids- all they need is love and attention... and I dont speak Romanian. Upon entry I pretty much figured the Lord wouldn't use me at all there and was pretty content to just hang back. I situated myself to kind of hang back and observe more as opposed to the last few places where I'd kind of thrown myself right in. While Mark, one of the staff members was explaining the bingo game we were going to play Sanda, one of the Romanian staff called me over to the corner where she was sitting closely with some of the kids (Romanian culture has much smaller bubbles- its not uncommon to see people holding hands, linking arms and in general sitting very closely) Anyhow- she asked me to explain my tattoos to one of the kids, he was quite interested. So next thing I know I've got a group of Romanian teenagers gathered around me, attentively listening while I essentially walked through an abbreviated version of my faith story. After this I found myself yet again, tossed into the middle of things, not as useless as I'd anticipated... The best thing about this? I later learned that this group of orphanages is run by a non-christian/ director, so the H2H staff is somewhat limited to what they can talk to the kids about- however if they're directly asked... funny how the Lord can use a girls tattoos. Way to go God :o)

Came back for some quality time with the team- I really do love these people, lots of laughs, intense game of spoons, and later in the evening, seriously blessed conversation. Somehow wound up talking with the staff about my heart for missions, especially Eastern Europe... letting go of your dreams for God's better ones, everything that'd happened with Africa, and where I'm currently at- I was asked "Where does Romania fit into this?" I like that question- and its currently resting on my heart...

Lord, where does Romania fit into all of this?

ROMANIA!!!

I'm finding myself struggling to even know where to begin- perhaps its that I'm at a place where I'm taking so much in that I've yet to process it myself in order to accurately convey my thoughts? Either way I figure I better at least attempt this!!

I arrived in Bucharest yesterday, and as the staff here warned us, we would barely remember the day. I do remember the feeling of... realief? as the plane was taking off. There's something about being where you're supposed to be, doing what you're supposed to be doing. Its my heart. I met up with my grandparents for a bit before the flight Monday afternoon, and as my grandpa said "See you in a month" grandma piped in, "You honestly think she'll be back in a month?" I gave her a funny look, but she followed with "I just know you and where your heart is..." My heart. Funny how far away I can find myself from that. When I first moved back to Minnesota I was yet again attempting to establish roots, convincing myself staying put was a good option- problem is, its not me. I guess you could say I dont want to just live in the world around me- I want to change it. My heart is for the orphans, the forgotten, and abandoned of the world and I guess it has been for a long time. I would give anything to spend the rest of my life working as an overseas missionary focused on orphan care...Now its just figuring out the long term when and where. So, we'll see. I know He's up to something- so much about how everything came about makes that painstakingly clear. Just waiting to hear His voice.

Listen....

I've lately grown a bit dependent on the GPS application in my phone... from time to time I use it, even when I don't necessarily need to just to be absolutely positive that I really know where I'm going. Today that handy feature taught me an interesting lesson- I set out to meet up with an old friend, in an area I knew relatively well, but as it'd been a few years since I'd frequented it I defaulted to GPS directions, about halfway there silly phone decided that it would be a good idea to fall out of its usual residing place of the cup holder and land somewhere underneath the seat as much as I love posing a threat to the rest of the world by searching my car for something and driving simultaneously I opted instead to turn off the music in my car, and instead focus on the quiet instructions the navigation feature was giving me. This was a bit of a challenge as at first I tried listening to the music quietly while listening for the directions to interrupt... I quickly realized this wouldn't work, had to shut it off, and even turn the heat off because the fan blowing still masked the muffled sound. It was after I exited the interstate and got away from that business that what GPS was telling me to do became more clear... Once I arrived at my destination I had a bit of time to ponder this silly abstract lesson before my friend got there... I love the silly little things that the Lord can use to work at your heart a bit. We are always busy, even when we aren't we tend to make ourselves... we constantly fill our lives with noise and distraction- sometimes if we really truly want to hear the directions being laid out for us, even though they are being made painstakingly clear, we have to lay aside the noise, the distractions... turn off the music, turn off the flashy light show, and just listen. God will get you where He wants you... Fact: He's probably already telling you. Are you taking the time to listen?

Going Forward in Faith...

Sitting in Caribou before work I was blessed with yet another, random encounter. I've been getting those a lot lately- Last night at work I had a guest speak to the manager- mostly about how great my service was (what a blessing to get that undeserved encouragement from time to time) but he also told him "That girl is called to something much greater in life" huh... Weirds me out that a complete stranger can say they see something "different" in me... same thing happened today while I was getting in some Jesus time before work, spoke with a complete stranger, he added me on facebook, left a prayer on my wall, and handed me a donation towards my ministry... wow God. What's particularly funny about this? On my way to work I'd been praying for little bits of encouragement- that I would start to see God move and work in the area of finances in ways that would surprise me, I know He's got this under control but its hard not to worry... So, way to go God! Hoping I'll become increasingly less in the way so God can move through me! With that... something I've been thinking about lately, hearing Gods voice, how often do we wait for the pieces to come together, using that as a determining factor on what the Lords will is... if He wants me here, He'll give me the money first, the house, the better job... whatever it may be- its as if we sit and wait for something to entice us into following Gods will... Yet we look at Abraham- when He received his call "The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you. So Abram departed as the lord had instructed, and Lot went with him. Abram was 75 years old when he left Haran." Genesis 12:1-4 The Lord told Abram to go... he didn't lay out a ten year plan, didn't even tell him where he'd be going... Abram got very little detail besides the fact that the lord wanted him to go, leaving everything he knew and loved- and that out of this irrational obedience, would come blessing... It doesn't say that Abram thought about it for a minute- made arrangements, etc etc... just that Abram departed as the Lord instructed This. Boggles. My. Mind. At this point Abram was well established, he was probably quite content... but God said "Go" so he went. Plain and simple... Listening to God... Am I willing to do it, regardless of the cost?

Joshua and Caleb

Prior to my departure from Tennessee I'd had a listening prayer session where the people praying over me kept going back to the fact that they sensed I had a "Joshua like spirit" and was bold in my faith, and prayed for an increase of this... Recently this has been resurfacing on my heart a lot so I decided to dig into what exactly this means, which led me to Numbers 13 and 14 when the spies were sent into Canaan... We all know the story of Moses leading the people out Egypt, and then Joshua leading the people as they marched around the walls of Jericho- but what about what happened in between? The Lord had instructed Moses to send men to spy out the land of Canaan, which he was giving to the people of Israel, of the 12 men sent out 10 came back with bad reports- igniting fear in the hearts of the Israelites... though the Lord had promised them the land the Israelites wanted to run back to Egypt... Caleb and Joshua however insisted that it could be done- not because of their strength, but because of the favor the Lord had in them... without the protection of God no victory can be ours. Because they did not trust in God, and refused to obey his voice- none of the men who saw His glory and signs in Egypt and the Israelites would be able to see the promised land "But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendants shall possess it." Numbers 14:24 Of the men that were sent out to spy on the land, only Joshua and Caleb remained alive- the rest died by plague before the Lord... because they feared for THEIR lives and THEIR plans they lost them... Ironic? I love verse 24... because Caleb had a different Spirit and followed me fully... Its one thing to believe in God- Those ten spies believed in God- the problem? They didn't believe that He was who He says He is, they didn't trust Him to fulfill His promises, they chose to guard their lives and their comfort rather than passionately pursuing His will and His plans, they weren't willing to follow Him fully. Is it really enough to believe in God? Or dare I say, even believe in His son? Or are we perhaps, called to a deeper more reckless faith... Perhaps we aren't just called to believe, but also to "Follow me fully." As I think about it, the idea of a Joshua like spirit intimidates me A lot... Am I willing to go against the grain? Joshua and Caleb were willing to have an opinion that was different than an entire nation... I'm willing to bet they were pretty ostracized, pretty lonely... To be perfectly honest, doesn't sound very appealing to me. The beauty of it? In their strong willed obedience, their willingness to obey and follow God COMPLETELY regardless of the costs, they were the only ones who received the blessing of seeing the fulfillment of God's promise... Its worth the cost- are we willing to put up the fight? What is your promised land? How is God calling you to follow Him fully today? Are you one of the ten or one of the two? Are you willing to take a chance, even if it might mean losing the life you think you love?

Moving Mountains...

"He said to them, 'Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.'" Matthew 17:20 The disciples were questioning Jesus as to why they weren't able to cast demons out of a boy: when Jesus rebuked it the child was healed INSTANTLY... Do we believe what we say we do? During my car ride home last night I was praying into the rapidly approaching season... Romania, Moldova... my future on the mission field. The aforementioned is the verse that was impressed upon my heart. People often ask me what's next- I continuously say that I want to focus on what's now... but for a moment lets dream again. If I could do absolutely anything for the rest of my life it would be to influence as many lives for Christ as I possibly can, there isn't a life I would find more gratifying than one spent passionately pursuing Gods will for my life, wherever that may lead me. Recently I've had this idea formulating to establish an orphan care network: uniting a lot of people and churches to do what they can to raise more children in Christ centered loving environments, my heart is a bit infatuated with children unlikely to ever be brought into this setting; whether it be due to age, disease, geographic location. The whole concept is a bit of a pipe dream at the moment... but maybe its a mountain that God wants to empower me to move. A mustard seed is an interesting concept, they start as something small and pretty insignificant yet have the capacity to sprout, bloom, and mature at a remarkable rate; even with this rapid growth they have a long lasting quality and are functional and useful year after year... every part of it can be utilized. Most interesting to me? They spread rapidly in areas where they are introduced. Does your faith look like this? I want a faith that grows like that... it may start small- insignificant, unable to invoke change in the world... but Lord willing it has the capacity to mature at an aggressive rate. Hopefully, it spreads like wildfire. With faith like that? Of course mountains can be moved, so perhaps its time I stop worrying so much. I serve a loving God- I think he can handle my mountains of fundraising, school debt, travel plans... We are called to a BOLD faith- why couldn't the disciples heal the demon possessed boy? Perhaps they weren't completely, recklessly convinced it was possible. Maybe just maybe their rational was getting in the way. How often to we pray... Lord if its your will? What would happen if we'd start boldly declaring the things promised to us as heirs to the kingdom? What mountains can be moved in your life? How can you completely and irrationally trust God today?

Dusting off the non-verbal conversation skills...

As I walked up to my second table to respond to my attempted greet with nervous looks and sign language, I had to wonder if God was up to something... Within a half hour span of time my section was sat with two hearing impaired tables and two non-english speaking ones. Time to let those non-verbal communication skills resurface? I had to laugh because the whole thing was eerily reminisce of time spent overseas where I've had minimal knowledge of the native language- except this time I wasn't the one who was embarrassed. Before letting myself get frustrated (What are the odds, in the entire restaurant, I'd be the only one getting sat with these unique circumstances?!) I had to remind myself, this'll be me in a few months... Its one thing to have good non verbal communication skills... but to essentially carry on a conversation without using words? This poses a unique challenge because quite honestly, you need to get over yourself... I'm fairly certain my one "normal" table at the time probably enjoyed watching me interact with the rest of the tables... you wind up looking a bit silly- but it works. The first question people typically ask when they hear about time spent overseas is if I know a lot of languages. I don't, someday I hope to- and when I wind up living in a country for a longer duration of time I most certainly plan to- however, if that's a factor of fear keeping people from stepping out of their comfort zone don't let it be.... http://svekri.xanga.com/?nextdate=4%2f21%2f2007+17%3a14%3a15.097&direction=n that link should bring you to my old blog... Check out the the March 17th entry. Love.... it doesn't have a language barrier. Sometimes we forget that the advancement of the gospel doesn't depend on our eloquent words, more than anything its our actions. When people look at us do they see a love that lives loud? Do they see an irresistible boldness...Do they see a community of people who are radically different?
And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 When we trust in ourselves we wont get far... we have language barriers, fears, inadequacies, baggage... The power of God however? That changes lives.

A boring, getting "business" done entry...

I keep returning here, planning on posting a better summary of my upcoming trip to Eastern Europe- with necessary links etc, then I get sidetracked... launching into some sort of dialogue on a thought process, by the time I near the end I feel like links to a ministry sight would detract from the quality of the post and so I refrain... This time I'll stick with the boring stuff. Finally back in my element, the waiting room season of post Guatemala has ended- exciting things are on the horizon, and working themselves out in ways that can only be explained as "God things" December 26th I'll be departing for Romania where I will be working with H2H- a ministry that teams up with several orphanages in the Bucharest area. This holiday trip is designed to bring Christmas/the holidays to children who otherwise wouldn't experience it. We'll be delivering gifts, putting on a program, cuddling babies, playing with kids... things that may not seem of particular importance- but as I say over and over, we cant expect people to comprehend a God who loves them enough to die for them if they never experience a simple tangible form of love on earth... its a starting point :o) From there, I'll move on to Moldova- fine details for that are still being worked through with a few ministries I'll be partnering with there, but I'll be spending time at an orphanage as well as a transition house for girls rescued from human trafficking. How you can help? A lot of people doing a little really does add up... First and foremost prayer is a huge priority... Particularly being the age I am and traveling on my own again I cant even begin to tell you the immense appreciation I have for those of you standing behind me and supporting me in that way- I know I'm not really alone :o) I'll do my best to keep things such as this blog and my facebook "Fan Page" up to date, however if you'd like to receive personal updates, whether via snail mail or email, dont hesitate to ask! Contact me with addresses/email addresses and its done :o) Then there's the not so fun aspect... Obviously a trip like this doesn't come without expenses. If you feel led to partner with me in this area there are several options. The link on this blog that says donate will take you to my ministry Paypal account- any contributions made there will help cover expenses for the time spent in Romania and Moldova. If you'd prefer the funds to be designated specifically towards Romania (and need a tax receipt) http://www.h2hint.org/index.php/h2h/give/ that link will take you there- designate "Kristin Joy Svendsen-Holiday Trip" in the memo line to ensure it goes towards my account. Prefer the old fashioned way? Checks can be sent to 2369 Montana Ave E. Maplewood MN 55119. If you have questions, or just want to get together in person- dont hesitate to contact me!!
Current Prayer Needs
An increasing of compassion
That God would use me to radiate His love to the children/women I seek to serve in Romania and Moldova
That I could be an encouragement to the missionaries I'll be partnering with
The children I'll be working with- that their needs, physical, spritual, and emotional will be met
Funding... I've got until December 1 which is rapidly approaching for this all to come together
Travel details... The flight will be arranged but I'll be taking a train from Romania to Moldova... a bit intimidating!!
Increasing sensitivity to where the Lord is leading
That God's love will shine through me- regardless of where I am :o)

Blessings!!

God has work to do, and he uses our hands to do it...

"Babies need hugs, children need good night tucks. Orphans need homes. God has work to do and he uses our hands to do it..." My acceptance letter for the Romania holiday team opened with that Max Lucado quote- and it resonated quite well with what has been on my heart lately. Our responsibility...the recent developments in life lately coupled with my crazy "Do something!" wiring have left me thinking about this a lot. Sometimes its easier to pretend there isn't a need... because then we dont have to do anything about it. There are so many children in this world who will never know the love of a father... How, if they never experience a tangible form of love on earth, can they ever even begin to comprehend a heavenly father who loves them?
I've always loved James 1:27...
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. but really- what does this mean? I started in a study of the words orphan and fatherless as they appear throughout the bible... Chapter 14 of Deuteronomy kind of caught me up a bit... and sent my thought process in a million different directions, we always pay attention to what it says about tithing... but how about at the end, when it talks about bringing out a tithe so that the "Levite, sojourner, fatherless, and widows" can come and eat and be filled... and this really gets me :that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do We tithe for new church buildings, we tithe to meet budgets... but what do we think the Lord would do if the Church as a whole took more of a responsibility for the least of these among us... What if, just maybe- care for orphans, homeless, people trapped in human trafficking, the ones too often forgotten- became more of an integral part of more of our church bodies... dont you think the Lord would bless the remaining resources all the more so? Consider yourself fortunate you're getting this thought process via my blog- I got a bit energized talking about his concept with one of my coworkers the other night- there's a bit of a crazy idea forming here too, but I'll spare you the details on that until I finish researching logistics... The point- we need to do something, I remember a conversation I had with a non christian family member years ago (I was 12- this shows you what an opionated spitfire I've always been) He was arguing the existence of God with me- questioning how, if a loving God exists, why are there so many starving kids in the world, so many people on the streets, the list goes on... My answer to him- "because people like you see the problem and dont do anything about it. What if you're supposed to be the answer to someones prayer" Ouch. (yeah... I dont always think about what I say...) Its true though... none of us on our own can accomplish much... but if everyone were to respond when they see a need, everyone were to take ownership and responsibility over the needs around them... those little bits would add up to shake the kingdom in ways we cant even comprehend. God has work to do... let Him use your hands to do it...

All I Want For Christmas?

Its perhaps really strange to be thinking about this at all... except I'm realizing I want nothing more than to spend it with kids like these... Lately I've been seriously contemplating making it to Romania to help in orphanages over the holidays- and everyone around me notices the same thing they've always noticed when I talk about things like this, I am ridiculously full of joy. My heart... is to love the least of these- there are days where I literally hurt to be in overseas, taking care of orphans... ones who, without people stepping in, would never experience a tangible form of love on earth... makes it pretty hard to contemplate a loving God dont you think? I keep trying to reconfigure my dreams- make it more realistic... convince myself it's okay to just stay here...so many things stand in the way right now, and then I find myself miserable. Perhaps I'm wired to dream. I know I'm not big enough to make an impact on my own- but I know my God is :o) A long term assignment hasn't come about just yet- in the mean time I'm going to keep moving forward- closer to where I feel called- knowing He'll get me where He wants me. What does this mean for the moment? Praying for God to make a way for me to go to Romania. Even though it would just be for a few weeks it would be a chance to love like crazy while I'm there- and who knows, it may give me a glimmer of the bigger picture God's piecing together :o)

Back yet again... I promise I'll get better at this!

I have this horrible tendency... I'll stop blogging, and during that time I of course continue to think... and feel- God continues to work in my life and on my heart... And so I'll have things I want to blog about, but then I realize that if I talk about that then I'll have to go back and talk about this other "Aha!" moment... and then that other one... and the other- by then the task seems to daunting and before you know it it's been a year since anyone has seen or heard from me (In the blog world that is) Thus, today is the day I've opted not to be defeated. No, I wont be going back and back dating everything I've wanted to say- I will however be moving forward from here and so, hello. I'm back :o)

Some of you are probably wondering where in the world I am... be prepared for shock- I am still in Knoxville Tennessee. Anyone who's known me any duration of time, particularly over the past few years, knows that my life has been a tad ridiculous... the fact that I'm still in one place within the US weirds me out a bit... I'm restless, but I know Gods in the process of growing something in me.

In recent news however, I haven't given up on leaving fairly soon... There are times my heart hurts to be overseas completely and totally submerged in ministry... It hurts in a way that's hard to explain. Those days are rough- its hard to explain to those who ask "How are you?" that I'm having a hard day because I dont get the sense that I'm in the right place, at the right time doing exactly what god has wired me to do... passionately pursuing my purpose in Him... a hurt as a result of that is a bit abstract and difficult to convey. I've begun the application process with world gospel mission- initially was hoping to go to Kenya, but its looking like Peru is a possibility- not on my radar but totally in God's hands. I may make plans but its exciting to see where God orders my steps...