A Letter to Santa

As I scrolled through the photos from that day I wasn't entirely sure what I was looking for, all I knew was I desperately wanted to put a face to the name that had occupied my heart and prayers for the day- his request was simple:

Dear Santa, Please make daddy stop hitting mommy. Love Ben

Maybe I thought he would stand out- would be able to fake a smile, perhaps he would have sad eyes and a force smile... or maybe look uncared for and battered. I quickly was reminded how early on we learn to wear masks. All the kids looked fine, but somewhere among them is a boy living in a world full of pain... and its likely that among the kids who sat on Santas lap that day, he wasn't the only one. The picture he colored on the other side of his letter was a little boy crying and looking up at Santas sleigh- what an accurate picture of his life right now- desperately looking for hope- praying someone will give it to him.   What broke my heart wasn't just the fact that this boy had written a letter to santa, hoping he could do something, its the fact that he's surrounded by people who dont notice him. I spent a lot of time in tears that day- not just for Ben, but for other people I've likely encountered who are hurting yet I've been too busy, maybe too preoccupied by my own life to notice them.

I'm praying for Ben this year- praying that someone in his life will notice the pain him and his mom are going through-  that someone will take the time to see past the surface where everything is fine, into their hearts... show them they have value and worth, I'm praying that Ben will get his Christmas wish. I guess that's my challenge for you- look for "Bens" in your life, giving them hope is worth more than any other gifts you'll give this year.

Be Someone Elses Miracle...

I'm going to be honest and admit, life since coming back has been rough. I hit the ground running jumping into two jobs, overcommitting myself left and right- hoping that as things just fell into place it was a "God Thing." Quickly realized that not all good things are His thing for you as I hit wall after wall, crashed, burned, and completely withdrew from society. Lately have been struggling to hit the restart button and feeling overlooked. Reality: When you leave life keeps happening. I returned to a different world than I left, even though I didn't make any sudden changes in plans this time (no deciding to relocate at the last minute!) the people I'd considered my circle, my community have shifted into new season. People got married, others are successful in their business ventures, others moved- all great things but makes for a very disoriented Joy. I kind of had a silly breakdown last night feeling like the number of people around me who cared to know my heart- cared to figure out why I'm sad when I'm sad, happy when I'm happy had quickly dwindled. My brain understands that Jesus is enough and that he sees me and cares but sometimes my heart struggles with the follow through...

I was expressing those frustrations to Laura as we walked around uptown after dinner. Talking about how frustrating it is to come back here and feel like you cease to make a difference in the world. How desperately I want to be somewhere... being Jesus to the world around me and how tired I am of waiting on Gods timing to run off and love on orphans somewhere when Luel walked up.

Luel has recently moved here from DC for work, and tonight while waiting at the bus stop had her purse stolen- leaving her stranded, panicked and feeling utterly alone. She felt bad approaching us and as we walked into Mcdonalds so she could get something to eat before we sent her home on the bus there were tears in her eyes- she wanted my address to pay me back, and started crying when I refused... as we hugged and I prayed for her I couldn't help thinking how much she'd actually blessed me. We both needed that reminder that God does care and everything is going to be alright- oftentimes its about so much more than a bite to eat or a couple bucks... its about taking the time to see people, seeing how much value they really have. I think of how often my day completely turned around-  typically the result of someone elses small obedience- we really can be someone elses miracle, just by taking the time to love them.

My Favorites

I've realized lately that my heart is inclined to love people in interesting circumstances. Saturday was the anniversary of the pentecostal movement in Moldova and to celebrate they had a crusade. The pastor of Basillica Emanuel had asked that as we go on house visits we invite people and try to take ownership over certain individuals that attend(tricky considering the language barrier!) Prior to church on wednesday I sat outside playing my guitar and singing and a woman that we've all been informed is one of the town drunks came over and sat by me- lately her and her daughter have sort of found a place in my heart and as I played she kept urging me to continue. I just wish she could understand the words so they could speak into her heart. Nonetheless she seems to have taken a liking to me, "cheering me on" whenever I run by, walking up and taking my hand... saturday she attached herself to me and wanted to stick with me the whole time- what baffles me about this is we have no way to communicate, and then I started to notice the way others interact with her. We are so quick to write people off... and often they're more perceptive to it when we realize- the same thing happened with a guy who came and spoke with the team last night- our translators were apprehensive to have a conversation with him but Tommy persisted. People long to be seen, they long to be valued, they long to be loved. Never write off anyone- there is no limit to the ability Christ has to transform a person- regardless of how lowly they may seem to us. When we take the time to see and acknowledge them as having value and worth and sometimes this message is clearer than any words we could speak. Live out love- you may just change a life.

Break Every Chain

There's a man who sits outside of the apartment complex we stay at... he doesn't speak and hardly interacts with us. I'm not really sure if he has some kind of spectrum disorder or what- but from day one I've really wanted to see him "unlocked." Sunday I got back from church but the rest of the group wasn't there yet so we couldn't get in. In true Joy fashion I opted to play the Jesus Hippy card and pulled my guitar out- he smiled. I shared this small interaction with Tommy our team leader and so a few nights ago when we decided to have a worship night outside we intentionally stayed in front of the building... sure enough he stayed to listen- music seems to break down the walls words cant. Then yesterday as I was leaving with my guitar I held out my hand and spoke to him and he made eye contact and verbally responded... it wasn't really intelligible- but it was a glimmer of hope. Moments like this are such a reminder that their is power through Jesus to break down every chain.

Keep praying for us as our team works to restore the vision of Sinai 30 and build bridges in the community

Learning to Act in Faith

Tuesday we went out to do house visits, on our walk around the town I saw a man in a wheel chair and told the group that I wish I had the kind of faith to just go up and lay hands on people... trusting that God would move- I said that and one of the guys was like, "Well lets talk to him then" as we learned his story my heart broke- he'd gone to help with clean up in Chernobyl and today cant walk and his health is failing. Initially he was apprehensive to let us pray, but the more we listened the more he opened up and actually was alright with us laying hands on him. I wish this is where I could tell you some crazy story where he got up and started walking around, but what did happen definitely left an imprint on my heart, when I put one hand on his shoulder he grabbed the other and held on the way a person does who's desperate for hope- a person who likely hasn't felt loved in a long time... a person who's lost their dignity. After we prayed I asked our translator if I could tell him something simple... all I said was that I wanted him to know that Jesus loves him, and it doesn't matter where he's been or what he's done- he wants to restore him and by the end of it we were both in tears. And that's the truth... Jesus loves some broken people and so should we... the most incredible ministries never happen because people set out to be great, set out to heal, set out to inspire.... it happens because they set out to love and the overflow of Christ's love for them has the power to break EVERY chain.

Longest Entry Ever...

Sorry its been so long! Internet access is very sparse and we've been quite busy! I'll do my best to fill you in, though the real life conversations and emails may do it more justice... I've divided this post up chronologically to make it a bit easier to follow...

The End of the Epic Side Trip

These trips make me realize what a painfully persistent person I can be- a few wrenches were thrown in my initial travel route (economic and political crisis tend to do that) yet obviously, as most of you know- I did make it to Moldova. After exploring Athens I took a boat over to Aegina for a day trip prior to what turned into a long journey to Istanbul. I was so blessed with companionship along the way- made some new friends, convinced them to come with and after a pretty transparent conversation about faith we had a pretty fantastic adventure- rented Mopeds, swam in the ocean... not a bad way to spend the day :o) On the way back a guy came and asked about my tattoos... didn't really know what he was getting himself into... if this is any indication of what my time in Moldova will look like I think Jesus is up to something! 

My initial plan involved taking a train to Thessaloniki and then Istanbul, however due to Greeces economic crisis this wasn't a viable option... time to improvise! From Thessaloniki I took a bus into Bulgaria (hey! One more country to the count!!) Then had to take an overnight bus to Istanbul... a few delays (both in Bulgaria and at the border into Turkey) and another new traveling buddy and I arrived in Istanbul. Was so blessed with companionship along the way! After a day exploring Istanbul and a good nights rest it was time for Moldova...

You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.I have seen you in the sanctuary

Because your love is better than life

Welcome to Moldova

A dry and weary land... my friends, this is the state of Cornesti right now... and when you are in a community dependent on well water this begins to influence every aspect of life... and ministry. To build a deeper well would cost around 5,000 dollars... when you're partnering with a ministry that's already struggling to survive this isn't really a viable solution. As a team we felt led to commit to praying for rain- even though the forecast was no rain for a month. With seven team members we began to pray seven times a day... boldly asking for the rain within a week. Our hope was this physical outpouring of rain would awaken the hearts of the people in this city- that with it would come an outpouring of His presence.

The Widows Heart

As we work to connect with the community and help the church continue to build relationships in it we've been going on quite a few home visits. One of the biggest things that hit me was the heart of the widow- when we go to encourage and pray for them they wind up completely humbling us. Not once but twice we encountered these beautiful women- completely gracious in inviting us into their homes. One woman can hardly walk and yet she still was on her knees to pray... to have that kind of reverence for the Lord. They have so little, yet what they do have the are willing to give... Jesus give me a heart like that.

Let it Rain

And so the seventh day comes. We kind of became rain watchers- getting excited as the completely blue sky began to have sporadic clouds... excitement growing as the clouds increased and darkened... a couple days ago we began to get glimmers of hope- light showers... today it rained for a bit- God is good. Pray for the city of Cornesti. We need more than a little rain- we need an outpouring to restore this land!! 

So the Journey Begins

I figured I should probably get these Moldova updates rolling- though currently the computer thinks I'm spelling everything wrong because I'm not typing in Greek. If that didn't give it away- or if you haven't been up to date on twitter, facebook, or instagram- I'm in Greece! Aaaand I left about a week early. As I looked at flights I was getting exceedingly frustrated, everything that first week of July was astronomical, a long string of events I wont dig into too much led me to investigate multi city tickets (as much as I wanted to hang out in Chisinau for a week....) Somehow discovered that by flying into Athens and then making my way to istanbul prior to Chisinau I'd save around 300 bucks... and that's factoring in travel, hostels and a bit of food and so, here I am! Without planning to had an 11 hour layover in Paris- which was fortunately during the day as well. Epic adventure.

The majority of the travel was farely uneventful. There were a few times where I was hit with this odd sense of empowerment- managed to get myself from the airport (which is an hour away from the city) to Notre Dam, meandered around a bit, then hit up the eiffel tower- then managed to track down a random Metro station, and though I had to make 4 transfers and one of the lines had two different trains, managed to get on the correct one... (For all you who've ever given me guff about being directionally challenged-evidently I'm a rockstar with directions as long as it involves the Metro) Arriving in Greece everyone I spoke with was baffled that I was traveling by myself and so late and still was determined to take the metro rather than a taxi (missionary budget+adventurous spirit=always opt for public transit) Caught the absolute last train and found my rather lovely hostel- greek buildings are amazing!

Today I spent most of my time at the Acropolis and Parthenon hiking around and accidently happened upon Areopogus Hill (otherwise known as Mars Hill) It was kind of bizarre because initially I didn't realize what it was, I saw a sweet rocky looking hill with a cross, started climbing on it(wrong way of course- which is why I didn't notice the sign) and sort of got chills... when I found out what it actually was I definitely had a moment... such amazing things for the Lord happened in that spot- in fact just days ago I was talking with a friend of mine about Pauls sermon there- in acts 17 something that really jumped out at me is how before Paul launches into an explanation of who the one true God is, validates the people of Athens- almost commending them for their devout religion, and then referencing one of their monuments to an "unknown God" He approaches the Gospel in a way that would be tangible and clear to his audience- he doesn't sugar coat it, but he sees where they're at and uses that to effectively minister to them...

“Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you.  The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man,^[ nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for

“‘In him we live and move and have our being’;

as even some of your own poets have said,

“‘For we are indeed his offspring.’

  Being then God's offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man.   The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead.”

 Now when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked. But others said, “We will hear you again about this.” So Paul went out from their midst.  But some men joined him and believed, among whom also were Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris and others with them.

He met them where they were at... pretty powerful stuff- and though some men mocked him, the ones who didn't were so worth it... That's kind of my prayer with this trip- and my ministry in general... that I would be able to effectively minister and love on people- regardless of where the Lord leads me- by seeing them and valuing who they are and speaking truth into their lives. 

Finally- some specific prayer needs- travel safety... I'd already planned to travel through Turkey and now there's a lot of unrest there- may need to be prepared for an alternate travel route and not really in a spot with much of a cushion to do that- pray for favor and safety- and in general, provision... things have really fallen into place in a crazy God way for me to even get here but I definitely need to trust Him to continue to provide! Blessings!

Moldova Update

Yet again I've fallen of the face of blog world for quite a bit... only to come back with a rather exciting update, I'm leaving for moldova in a month and a half! (According to cyberspace I never left...) There's so much to reflect and share regarding my time back in the states- along with new dreams and visions that have begun to surface, however I suppose its best to focus with what's at hand in this instance... Cornesti Moldova:

In a land decimated by emigration, spurned by a failing economy and severe lack of job opportunities, still fighting off the residue of Soviet occupation and communism, and suffering from its notoriety as the #1 gateway of human trafficking in Europe, where is hope found? Where is God in the midst of this country’s oppressive darkness?

Hope is alive and well in Moldova, fueled by a God who promises to work through the faithful remnant of God’s people to transform the brokenness of the world.
In Cornesti, Moldova, a small, agriculturally based town and village in the western countryside of this Eastern European nation, this hope and its ensuing transformation are living in the people of Basilica Emmanuel, a small but huge-hearted church within the mission of Sinai 30, and their passionate pastor, Vitalie Gaiceanu. The hope for God to transform the desperate and seemingly never-ending cycle of poverty and injustice, to redeem the broken people of Moldova, is found, so Vitalie believes, in the faith-filled lives of local churches and communities that seek to make God’s Kingdom a reality in their worlds.
This summer, a hodgepodge team of ex-World Racers, seminary and college students, young business professionals, and others journeying with God, will embark on a mission to come alongside Basilica Emmanuel and Pastor Vitalie in their Kingdom work, to enter into relational solidarity with them in their longsuffering of the multi-faceted struggles of their country and community.
This is a mission borne out of a response to God’s call to take up our Cross and sojourn with the Spirit to bring the Kingdom into the oppressed pockets of the world. Through preaching, teaching, evangelism and house visits, discipleship and bible study with orphans, street kids outreach, and farming and manual labor, this team will live out this Spirit-led calling in Moldova. Hope and the growing seed of the Kingdom are already there… We are going only to fan this flame through humble servanthood… to participate in what God’s already doing there.
From July 1-August 15th, this mission, Sinai 30 Fire Summer, will become a part of God’s people in Cornesti, Moldova, living life with them in the hope of Kingdom coming on earth as it is in Heaven.
It can only come through the faith of God’s people… Will join us in faith for God’s Kingdom to come in Moldova this summer? Do you want to witness it firsthand by joining our team? Do you want to witness it through our team by investing in us through prayer and even financial support? Hope is alive… it just needs people of faith to make its object, the Kingdom, a reality. Will you help make it a reality?

An outline of what our time in Moldova will look like:

1.     Church work- As the local church, Basilica Emmanuel, is the heart and soul the ministry of Sinai 30, we will participate in and help lead (when appropriate) the 3 weekly church services, 1 of which is geared towards "unbelievers." We will also hold some "Big Evangelism" services this summer, which Vitalie is already organizing, that we will play a role in too. In all of these services, weekly and BIG evangelism, we will help teach, preach, lead worship, pray, give testimonies, etc. 

2.     Discipleship and Empowerment- Most of our time will be spent building and continuing relationships with the people in the church, the orphans at the church, and Vitalie and his team of missioners. This is truly the heart of our ministry in Moldova, using our various gifts and just the simple power of our love to encourage the people in their struggles and life pursuits. There are all different kinds of people to build Gospel-centered relationships with, whether the church members and orphans, or the local community members and street kids.

a.     Orphan Discipleship- specifically, we will lead weekly fellowship meetings with the orphans that will include Bible Study, prayer times, and discussion about life and faith.

3.     Evangelism and Outreach: The main task of structured ministry during the days will be going on house visits with people from the church to people that live in the local village. These visits will be Spirit-led times, but typically include basic friendship building, prayer, encouragement, Bible Study, sharing a meal, helping around the house, etc. These visits will be a balance of reaching out to people the church doesn’t know and people that are friends or members of the church. This is where we seek to fully embody the way of Jesus and live as His people in a faithful witness to the Kingdom of God and its transformative power that God is offering the people of Cornesti to "come, taste and see." 

4.     Manual Labor: The church has a significant amount of self-support agriculture that we will often help with, depending on the needs during the time. This will most likely include gardening, building, maintenance/repairs, and playing with the beavers!

5.     Daily Prayer and Worship: Most days, if not every day, we will lead a morning or evening prayer and devotional time. These prayer times will be for anyone serving in the ministry, including the workers, orphans, Pastor Vitalie, and the American missionaries that will be serving with me. Then at night, we will have a time of worship and prayer with the community again. These are pivotal times of the day that will punctuate our time together around the Spirit of prayer and worship as the Body of Christ. This is what will sustain our community life, keeping us connected in what matters most: the Spirit!!!

6.     Kids Program- During most afternoons, we will help with the Kids Program that church does for local children. This time includes play, relationship building, snack, and some type of structured activity like games, Bible lessons, crafts, etc. our role will be more supportive, not leading (but can be when necessary), and we will focus on spending time one-on-one with the children and living out the Gospel through those relationships. 

The Lord's already been moving so much in these last minute preparations to join this team- and I have a hunch this adventure will be a starting point for an even bigger kingdom purpose. Join with me in prayer as benefits are organized, tickets are booked, and things come together. Blessings!

Hard Truth

I came here fully expecting my heart to be broken for the situation in Cornesti- what I didn't expect was that it would break for the American church...

Riding through the countryside of Cornesti, pastor Vitalie blaring the song "Our God"  and both of us singing at the top of our lungs- yet another powerful worship moment... and this guy truly believes every word he's belting out. Sinai 30- their mission, 30 pastors in 30 villages in 30 years... they are trying to create a sustainable ministry with livestock and farm land- and reaching out to the people of this small moldovan village. Vitalie and his wife came here with nothing... completely trusting God- and it is immensely evident that he's at work. This morning I went to their church service, and as we sang "You wont relent" (in Romanian) I was nearly brought to a point of weeping. These people worship with so much passion. Later the women prayed for me... and I realised- no one taught them to worship this way- want to know what church should look like? Find and evangelical church plant in a village of Moldova and see what they are doing- its completely based off what they read in scripture and what the Holy Spirit teaches them. Legit. I kind of think God is going to use this small movement in the city of Cornesti to shake the nation- who knows, maybe even the world.

I was digging  into Matthew yesterday and contemplating just how challenging the words of Jesus really are to us... he even said "Blessed is the one who is not offended by me." (Matthew 11:6) Thing is- this means, the gospel IS offensive... or at least has the potential to seriously offend those who aren't ready to be changed. The words of Jesus should drive us to action, push us to change, challenge us to abandon our comfortable lifestyles... Are we doing the word or just hearing it? It kind of boggles my mind that when jesus called the first deciples (MT 4) they immediately left their nets and followed Him... think about it- they were fishers! Their nets were the source of income, their security... this is the picture of absolute trust. Later in Matthew 7 he says "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven" He talks about people prophesying in his name, performing miracles in His name and still never knowing Him... Say what?!? If this doesn't offend you- please read it again... Kind of poses the question, what is the will of the father in heaven? Is it enough to simply go to church, gather together for exciting worship nights, host bible studies in our houses... the list goes on... perhaps the life we're really called to ought to look a bit more radical. Perhaps, just maybe we are called to that "true religion" James spoke of... I'm starting to firmly believe that we will be held accountable for the orphans and destitute among us. Its like the man Jesus told to sell all he had and give to the poor then follow Him... Reality is, nothing we have belongs to us. Even if we possess some wonderful skill- its only because God equipped us with it. Being blessed is a responsibility. What will you do with it? And the more intercultural worship settings I encounter, the more I realize, we cant say- let the people of Moldova deal with Moldovan orphans, the people of Africa deal with their orphans... We're worshipping the same God- we are one body- if we see, we are responsible. Pastor Vitalie said to me yesterday "If everyone in the american church lived the bible the world would change" Ouch. "Whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me." (10:38-39) If we are not willing to deny ourselves and follow him- can we be worthy of him? This is just snip bits of a lot of hard truth... Challenge- honestly read through the words Jesus spoke- prepare to be broken, prepare to be frustrated, prepare to maybe even be offended... prepare to be changed.

Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

I've sat down to write this blog post six nights in a row... six nights in a row I realized I've barely processed what's been going on in my heart to the point I understand it- let alone am capable of conveying it in writing... but now the collection of thoughts has begun to pile up and so begins my attempt...

Occasionally open doors complicate things rather than simplify... As many of you are aware I was faced with a rough decision this week, for those of you who may have missed the memo, my initial plans for Moldova had some glitches. One of the girls I'd planned to work with wasn't going to be back in town, the missionary who was planning to travel with me needed to go to Latvia and therefore would have to get me early, housing options hadn't surfaced... I began to look into other options- stay with H2H for the rest of January- or the more frightening option... venture to Moldova with no idea what was in store. Guess where I sit tonight? I prayed, I fought God on it a bit... if I went with what I wanted I'd be sleeping in the team house in Bucharest... something in my heart said "Go" so here I am.

One of my biggest apprehensions about going was if I had to pay for housing- the amount would've surpassed what I'd initially raised and budgeted towards Moldova. So Lord- where's this money going to come from... it made sense to stay in Romania... it would be cheeper, I'd had an excess of funds- and then I felt led to give that excess in the Romania account away. Um? Really? I don't know what's happening right now... this is NOT a wise decision. My prayer: "This makes absolutely zero sense to me, but I'm trusting you with the outcome." I'm really glad He's strong when I'm weak... I'd be so useless without him... Anyhow, the majority of this frustrating wrestling process happened in Rosiori. I returned to the team house figuring before I made any sort of concrete decision I should at least find out if staying in Romania was an option- after talking with the staff there I headed up to email the stateside director. First thing I see when I open my email? A paypal donation for the exact amount I'd need for housing in Moldova. God is so unbelievably incredibly good...

Still wrestling with the decision I tried to push it out of my mind- my last few days in Romania definitely left an imprint on my heart. Went to the baby hospital and while there Melinda and I prayed for each of the babies in the room... Thing that struck me- each and every one of us who knows the Lord- is passionately pursuing Him, is where they are today because some one at some point prayed for them. Working in orphan care can be challenging- you wont often see tangible results... but here's a fact, maybe those prayers you and other people speak over their lives will be the reason why someday down the line they will be passionately seeking the Lord in their life. Glimmers of hope...

Visiting Peris to hand out presents wound up wrecking me in more ways than one. One of the boys instantly attached himself to me- I found this funny since he was definitely one of the more aggressive violent children, as he sat opening his present he pulled out a little stuffed dog and handed it to me, he was giving me a gift. Throughout the night he would come and make sure I still had this dog- it was immensely important to him that I kept it- to the point he made sure before I got in the van that this was still in my possession. What would it look like if you gave when you had nothing to give? Lessons these kids can teach us... Another thing that struck me, more ways to be Jesus... A boy walked up to me and another team member and wanted to put what I think he thought was lotion on our hands... it was shampoo, so here we sat rubbing shampoo into their hands- later I found myself playing a made up game... then another child taught me to cheat at said game- then I sat watching a kid do card tricks for an hour, acting fascinated with every one. Sometimes radiating the light of Christ has very little to do with words you say, sometimes the actions you display may be a bit nonconventional, a little silly- occasionally boring... but maybe, just maybe, in your willingness to be there, and genuinely love- these kids will see Jesus.

Finally the decision became rather pressing... If I was going to go arrangements needed to be made- I think I'd known all along what the decision would be. The Rosiori team was heading back to hand out coats and after a final night there I would be dropped off at the train station in Bucharest. My final night at the team house I felt like my heart was breaking- it such a short time I'd grown to care pretty deeply for what God's doing with this ministry, the staff involved, the girls on my team... saying goodbye wouldn't be easy.

We headed to Rosiori and handed out coats at a special needs orphanage- man those girls were full of joy. After that we returned for a final night at Sanda and Mariana's. Recreated the worship night (starting out in a more cozy spot than the kitchen this time though!) I still love hearing us sing the same songs in different languages... how beautiful is it that He knows them all.  Saying goodbye to Sanda, Mariana, the leaders, and all the women from the team really was rough. Sanda came in to speak with me privately and had me in tears within moments. I can honestly say I will hold these women in my heart. I think I kind of understand Paul when he'd write these letters speaking of longing to be with people... Funny how in the kingdom and in Christ there's no limit on our capacity to love.

So now here I sit in Moldova- met Patrick at the station in Bucharest and travel here was pretty uneventful, enjoyed Moldovan food this afternoon and have been pretty blessed by Kalyna's company.. . I love being with like minded people! Tomorrow I head to Cornesti to work with a ministry called Sinai 30, this is actually a few days earlier than I initially planned so things are completely out of my hands now. Their goal is to raise up 30 missionaries in 30 years and create a sustainable ministry with agriculture- currently they have some displaced orphans so that will probably be one of the things I invest my time there in. One thing I do know, this will be more of a "roughing it" spot... heated by fire and no running water- and something about this deeply excites me, looking forward to what He has in store... my only fear- these kids may grab ahold of my heart and not let go...