There are no great things... only small things with great love

Small things with great love- that's my heart... And I'm coming to an increasing realization that I shouldn't expect people to understand. The past few days have been rough- the decision to go to Guatemala came rather suddenly, and most have been asking why- you're skipping out on your life to do what? That cant be in your best interest! What's in Guatemala.... The list goes on, and it's hard to explain- yes I'm scared, yes I'm a bit sad, yes I'm going to miss people, no I wont have an income- and I may not have a job when I get back. And yet I'm going- because I know that what's in store for me there is better than anything I can comprehend or imagine... I've always liked pearls, and currently have only been able to own the fake kind- but it's like someone has real pearls for me, I just have to be willing to let go of my pretty fake ones... I have to trust, and let go of things that seem nice and wonderful right now- because what God has in store for me is unfathomably more. And I know that apart from him I am nothing- I also know that I really cant do any of this on my own... but I'm not alone and that's beautiful. A good friend of mine recently asked when I was going to start living for myself- but I'd rather live for Him... Living for me would be like staying fixated on those plastic pearls. Because it's all I know, and I like them- I'm content- but that contentment quickly becomes complacency. They're nice and I like them, but I dont care. I want to care- I want to deeply care- and I want to radiate great love because without that I am nothing. "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3