Today I think I know why I came... I had a moment, and if this is the only reason God called me here it was whole heartedly worth it... I ended up going back to the older baby hospital today- I had been hoping to go to the new one so I could see all the areas of H2H's ministry, but no one was signed up at first- and I didn't want Corny to go alone. We got there and I felt so at ease- I went and changed Elaina- something I had been a little weary of doing at first- she's so stiff- And then went to hold Valentina again, she actually acted as if she recognized me, relaxing in my arms, it's so hard to support her neck though, she ended up falling asleep in my arms. I found myself thinking- this has probably hardly ever happened in her life- most children are rocked to sleep in people's arms countless times- this little girl- at 7- spends most of her life in a crib, she gets fed, changed, everything in that crib. If we dont come out to hold these children no one does.... After she fell asleep I went over to Hermina- she had an IV in today, and seemed really angry about this- it drives me crazy that these kids recognize me- deemed invalid and useless in society it's obvious they have so much potential... there is something going on in there! Anyhow, the nurse actually had me give her medicine since she seemed to be responding well to me, she still didn't like it though... that little girl needs to be active. There was a new baby there today, her mom was actually staying with her- most of the kids in that room had long since been abandoned- but she was in because she is 4 and a half months- they're worried she might have the same thing as Elaina- my heart just broke for her- she was watching me working with the other kids and was smiling- we told her that her baby was beautiful- which seemed to touch her a lot. Its so easy to judge other parents who leave their kids, but it's not that simple- the doctors encourage it- it scares me to think they may be pressuring this mother to leave her baby, they are often told that the kids are retarded and are going to die anyways.... they dont have wheelchair ramps in this culture, nothing is accesible- they don't realize what a blessing individuals with special needs can really be... Anyhow yes, this mom for some reason connected with me- she actually motioned for me to cross myself and bless the baby(I have returned to the region of orthodox catholicism...)- and praise God for Corny, I had her translate so we could talk- she saw how I interacted with the other kids and thought for sure I was a mother:) but then I asked her if I could pray with her... I am not the type to do that- really, next thing I know I'm praying over this baby, Corny translated, the mother was crying, and after I prayed she thanked and hugged me, and then Corny started praying for the baby, during which time I held the childs shaking mother- how you can connect so deeply with someone you have no way of communicating with is beyond me, but we understood each other- again God reminds me of how loudly love speeks... She was shaking and clinging to me- I know she was holding on to me the same way her heart was holding on to hope- that woman is so longing for hope- she loves that little baby, and so badly wants to fight for it... I really hope she does. I thought I was broken before...