Pressing On

This grieves me as much as some of the biggest hurts I've had- the devestation I felt after the most recent email from Becky pained me in a way that broadsided me... I've been telling people it hurts worse than a break up, I think it's because she cut into the single most important aspect of my life- the entirety of who I am... my faith.

I successfully got myself from Guatemala City to Antigua yesterday, meandered around Antigua and saw what I wanted to see without getting lost, hopped on a tuk tuk, and got to the resort the Susie Magazine group was staying on... Did I mention I dont speak a bit of Spanish? Occasionally when I look back on the stupid things I do I wonder how my parents sleep at night... All this went off without a hitch though, and I was so glad I made it to the worship/devotional.

First off I wound up talking with a group of highschoolers- totally energized by being around them, they wanted to know the whole story as to how I wound up there- so we wound up with an hour long "Story time" where I shared my *ahem* supposedly invalid testimony (yeah- yeah, I know, that sounds a tad spiteful... :op) Anyhow 9 new facebook friends later, we headed down for the message. I love how the same words can touch so many people in such different ways. She was talking about Philipians 3, how every gain Paul had was worthless compared to the infinate value of knowing Christ Jesus... how we need to become radically like Him- how remarkable is it that Paul wrote this from a prison, saying he wants to know Christ MORE- that we should press forward with intensity, regardless of our external situation because our internal calling remains the same. Our entire world can crumble, but knowing him is what consumes us... EVERYTHING ELSE IS GARBAGE!!! How perfect is that... my dreams and hopes for Africa: dead; my plans for the summer: out the window; How I anticipated my time in Guatemala to be: ha!.... but in the midst of this "Roman Prison" I want to know Him more than ever. I will not let this black cloud hover over me- I will press on towards what's ahead.

What needs to resonate in our hearts- every fiber of our being is not how we've known Christ in the past, or how we will know Him in the future- it's knowing Him in all His fullness, at this very moment...

What can I say? What can I do? But offer this heart oh God, completely to You