Since arriving here I've been contemplating what's next- everything I'd planned on going pretty much out the window brings you to a place where there's a lot of options. I'm not going to Africa with the Dvorak family, so there's not necessarily the need to return to where I was figuring on leaving within a few months- I am however figuring on leaving the country sometime relatively soon- hopefully within the next year, so basically until then I need a place to live and work. Options : Minnesota, Missouri, or Tennessee....
Here's the thing, my life in Minnesota was starting to suck the "Joy" (sorry I know, it's mildly punny) right out of me... I wasn't really in "my element" and hadn't been for a long time. I love my family- that's obviously a big plus... but it's like those Misty Edward's lyrics that had resonated with me so much (see July 1, 2010 entry) I also have connected with this amazing group of woman and been blessed so much with having them in my life... but it's the sort of friendship that doesn't really change by being absent- they fought for me in prayer while I was in Guate- pretty sure they'll do the same for me in Tennessee. Unfortunately, work was pretty much consuming me though- being newer and having an open availability meant I was getting a lot of split shifts- so bits of hours here and there that pretty much consumed every day... couple that with a lot of creepy guys trying to weezel their way into my life, a lot of late nights with coworkers, and not really feeling like I had a "church family" or fellowship besides bible study.... the potential to destroy.
In the grand scheme of things I figure wherever I am right now is just a training ground for whatever lies ahead- it's all just my temporary home anyhow, so does it matter what the zip code is? Where I want to be right now is wherever the Lord wants me to be... and I'm thinking where he'd have me is going to be a place where I can be restored, built up, reaffirmed and better prepared before going out. In the short time being here I've already felt like I was coming into a legit representation of the body- my first sunday at church 2 different people who don't yet know me took initiative to pray for me, reaching out to someone they didn't know, I've seen prayer and listening to God be an active part of the ministry, the holy spirit present and moving throughout the people- not hindered or restricted to a box,visited a small group and actually had people inviting me in- genuinly caring to know my heart, and have already begun to develop connections and friendships with some of the girls here... I feel like this is a place I could honestly belong... for a season.
Then there's a job- I didn't pursue this job, didn't follow up with them, it basically fell into my lap. I went to the interview today, and had an awesome conversation with the manager- I was very real with him about who I am- mentioned that I've come here from Guatemala, he asked if it was for missions work- I straight up told him that my heart is in missions, and that's what I want to be doing sooner or later, and that basically for now I needed to work and pay off loans, and prepare for wherever I was going... Knowing this- knowing that I'm inclined to leave the country at some point- he offered me a job- a good one, I'm not getting the typical start out on the restuarant side, work your way up to be a closer kind of treatment- he hired me on the spot as a closing bartender, meaning I'll get regular long shifts, a regular schedule, and be working evenings where there's money instead of slow lunches. How exactly did this happen?
So there you have it, as of today, it's looking like I'll be residing in Tennessee for a bit, a place that wasn't even on my itinerary- funny how the Lord charts our steps... things always look a bit different when you give Him the reigns.
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