We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps...

I love how I never know what my day will look like- the people God will place in my path, the way everything intertwines and all the pieces snap together... I feel so blessed when I have encounters with other people and God uses pieces of my past in ways I wouldn't have imagined. Everything is part of the plan, but often times we have to tell ourselves that. I started off my day over lunch/coffee with my grandparents, I love it when I get to spend quality time with the people I love- one on one, investing in one another (though in their case it's often more investing in me, as I really have little to offer or teach them :)) Anyhow, it was another one of those ironic days, where I talked about something with them, and then had an experience following that relating to what we discussed. We got onto the subject of allowing yourself to be open to the people who God places in your path, my grandma sharing about a neighbor that she's been able to minister to during a difficult time, only for me to later have my own strange- literally in my path moment. It's one of those wonderful rainy days, which calls to be spent curled up with a cup of tea and a good book, certainly not a cold smoothie! This translates into, work was slow, and I was close to going overtime anyhow, so I got off early. Rather than rush right home I headed down the street to Tea Garden, a business that has become one of my favorite places to relax and have quiet time. Anyhow, I met one of the girls who works there on the bus several months back, and we clicked right away on the account of our tattoos (our God is a creative one!) Anyhow, we've discussed having a lunch date long ago, however busy schedules have yet to allow for it- she's been a blessing to me time and time again as she's often inclined to discount or comp my tea :)- yet I've never been able to invest real time in her. That's where the above verse from Psalms seems relevant today, as I said, I planned to get together with her and develop our friendship, but today on my way to tea garden we ran into one another on the side walk and next thing I know I'm sharing my whole faith story. I wish I could share some elaborate wonderful thing that followed, or some awesome way that God used me, but that was it, I couldn't help but think how bizarre it was though, that here I was, encountering someone literally in my path, and opening up to them in a way I'd never plan- only the Lord knows how the pieces all come together.

Still playing catch up...

Okay we're at Thursday now.... (Westport)

Thursday I ventured out to Westport- the last region I could hit before heading home- and the area I most wanted to see. The train ride alone was beautiful, Irish countryside- rolling green hills, sheep pastures, the sea(sigh) Anyhow, getting to Westport involved a train to Dublin, and then a bus to another station in Dublin, and the final train to Westport- quite a long travel day- but I made it in around 5, and it was so worth it. I actually ended up staying in a B&B that wasn't much more than a hostel would've been, explored the adorable coastal town, and rented a couple movies(FYI- Penelope- adorable movie!) Another night of God totally blessing me though, I happened upon this place, it was actually not that expensive, and the owner was incredible! I got a good nights sleep, anticipating the next days adventure, and the reason I had come to Westport...

Friday (Westport/Murrisk)

How many people do you know who would hike six miles so that they could hike up a mountain? Well if you know me there's at least one:) The main reason I wanted to get to Westport was to hike up the Croagh Patrick- it's the 2,510 ft mountain that St. Patrick fasted on, and one I had read about prior to my visit. It was supposed to be a pretty intense climb and I was determined to get up it(even though my ankle has been acting weird yet again- who knows when I'll be back though!) I got up that morning only to find out that only one of the buses was heading out that day- at four, and seeing as I was hoping to get back to Paula and Martins by evening I was not waiting that long! But to come this far and not make it... what's six miles I figured.... and so I set off, and let me tell you, hiking towards that mountain was actually rather frightening, like it was taunting me- I finally made it, and at that point it was like- well made it this far, might as well go up! And so I began, and let me just say, this was not one of your nice little beaten down footpaths- it was loose boulders, the whole way, and I definitly wanted to be done a couple times, and it hurt a lot some times- but when I got to the top- WOW, one of the few times I can say I was speechless- what a way to worship- declaring his name on the mountaintop... I didn't even want to come down. I met a few girls at the top, Elaine from Dublin and Maryjan from Holland- another totaly God-given encounter- I had honestly been praying for someone to share their water, and not only that- they shared their lunch- what a blessing! And they were Christians- we all found quiet corners to pray before decending... On our way down Maryjan insisted that I use her climbing stick- noticing the limp:) I am immensely blessed in ridiculous ways- Once I reaced the bottom I met an ederly couple who were actually heading the same way, and they offered me a ride back to town, which then resulted in their elderly aunt (picture Granny Lindeen- Irish) deciding I should stay the night with her. By this point I had missed the last train to Dublin and wouldn't be back to Dundalk that night, meaning another night in Westport and so I found myself yet again taken in by a wonderful woman- who made sure I was in a taxi to get to the station bright and early so I could catch the first train out... Did I mention God is pretty awesome?

First Night In Dublin

So I never really recapped my first day and Gods continuing awesomeness... Anyhow yes, so I got into the city, and hit that- huh now what (my first thought- find a hostel) I was looking for a street I knew had a couple and kind of happened upon that street rather easily- they had space:) And it turned out to be a great choice- awesome roomates from the states(hung out with them last night) and free internet and breakfast:) God is so good... Then I went and did my usual first night in the city meander, Hit up Trinity College as well as Irelands equivalent of the Miracle Mile- found Bewleys, a resturant that's famous for it's coffee- which was a fun little stop, and then this beautiful park- good for quiet time:) Today I'm out to conquer the city again... who knows where that will lead:)

Not done yet...

My first full day in Dublin began with a peaceful walk along the river, and then a self guided tour of the Grand Canal area- beautiful- I listened to Bethany Dillon- Just me my ipod and Jesus- so good- saw the birthplace of George Bernard Shaw and St Stephens church- I was just proud of myself for not getting lost:) Anyhow, after finishing those walking tours I sat at a bench in the Canal Park and was pondering over my map- debating my next plan only to be startled when someone sat on the bench next to me- he startled me a bit, but soon Alexander was my new friend- wow what a broken man, I'm not sure why but he ended up sharing his story- initially from Kyrzakstan he's been in Ireland for 6 years now and at one point had a job and things were going well and then his life fell apart, he's been homeless for sometime now- not knowing where he will sleep or eat next. I almost felt as if God allowed me that fear to better understand people like him... perhaps just a glimmer- I cant imagine what it would be like day in and day out though- anyhow long story short I ended up telling him about my journey yesterday, and realized that God had blessed me and I couldn't not pass the blessing on so I offered to buy him lunch- which he refused, but I'm stubborn and won- so next thing I know I'm walking to a corner market with my homeless friend Alexander, when we parted ways I prayed with him- oh how I keep getting pushed out of my comfort zone... and told him I would continue praying for him... I feel so useless though- I left and wished I had done more. That is one thing I'm encountering a lot in Dublin- a feeling of helplessness- I see things so much differently now then I used to, and my heart is broken at the sight of the poverty that is prevalent in this city- I wish I could actually make a difference... I feel so blessed to have encountered Alexander and hear his story though- I am amazed how God continues to work in me on this trip... After parting with Alexander I went on another self tour, this time of the Temple Bar area- happened upon the Irish Film institute and Photo Gallery and took time to soak in the exhibit, though my mind and heart were still preoccupied with Alexander and his story... I decided to see a foreign film- good times:) And while waiting sat down for a cup of tea, only to have the waiter comment on my tattoo- what a day what a day... he decided we should go out for coffee after he was off work and I was out of my movie- Who gets themselves into these situations? God is challenging me majorly- he has very new agey beliefs, and I really wanted to cop out of the coffee excursion- not feeling up to that sort of intense conversation- I'm not capable of handling these sorts of things right now! God is though... and my goodness was I bold- my new friend from portugal ended up buying me dinner (and a teapot, so I would remember him) and over this dinner he actually commented on how I have a glowing Aura- to which I said- that would be the love of Christ shining in me. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!? Oh how I wish I could've made a difference in that mans life- I pray God will work on his hardened heart... I planned on a low key day... but God determines my steps...

Do not worry about tomorrow... no, serious!

Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This is the passage I found myself reading over and over and over again. The day started out kind of testing my ability to not worry... I had a friend looking for a place for me to stay once I got into Dublin- with limited funding I really didn't want to spend more than necessary, but never heard back- and was reminded in Heathrow how foolish that was- you cant exactly tell passport control that God's got it covered.... So anyhow nice passport control dude pretty much convinced me I was doomed- and with that mindset I found myself reading that passage over and over as I waited to board my plane to Dublin and not panic. I ended up next to this little girl Maria, and her father- both Dublin residents. That little girl was so stinking mature- I was telling her about the orphanages and she honestly was thinking about how unfair that was- it's amazing when children grasp something most adults dont, anyhow- her father was telling me how necessary it was for me to get out of Dublin, and see the country- and also how I really should stay in a B&B instead of a hostel and so on- leading me to explain my slight predicament- in those oops I'm going to Dublin situation you dont exactly have cash falling out of your ears.... ANYWAYS eyeah- so Long story short, we met up again by baggage claim, and he told me to have fun in Ireland, and then he repeated that(I'm thinking okay- this man really wants me to leave...) Totally not catching that he had shoved a wad of Euros in my hand- I started crying right there- He told me that what I was doing in Romania was really important and that I needed to enjoy my time in Ireland- I didn't want to be rude and count the money so I waited until I was away to unfold what I assumed was probably like 90 Euros or something... Um I was quite wrong... there was definitely 8 bills in that wad... My life is excedingly bizarre- God kept telling me not to worry- and then he pretty much had to smack me over the head with that truth- he provided above and beyond what I even could imagine and I cant even begin to comprehend why he brought me to Ireland....

Saying Goodbye

It is unbelievable how quickly time passed while here- its funny because it feels like it was such a glimmer, but at the same time so much has happened that I haven't even been able to begin comprehending. God has really been pulling me back into leadership roles on this trip(scary!!) I found myself often volunteering to pray outloud for the team (not my forte) but when thinking about it, realised that was probably good preperation for the baby hospital... Today I signed myself up to lead the morning devo- I always get myself into those situations! God totally used it though- its amazing how when he speaks through you he can also speak through you... It was strange going to the orphanage for the last time this morning- I really hope to return but that's totally up to God, Aurel hugged me like four times and kept telling me he loved me- it's amazing how much love those kids have to offer... I really hope I can keep in touch with some of them. I just dont know- today has been a day of a lot of contemplation and thought processing- I'm pretty sure I'm changing my major, and just really dont know what's coming around the bend- All I really know is that God will guide my steps:)

Today I think I know why I came... I had a moment, and if this is the only reason God called me here it was whole heartedly worth it... I ended up going back to the older baby hospital today- I had been hoping to go to the new one so I could see all the areas of H2H's ministry, but no one was signed up at first- and I didn't want Corny to go alone. We got there and I felt so at ease- I went and changed Elaina- something I had been a little weary of doing at first- she's so stiff- And then went to hold Valentina again, she actually acted as if she recognized me, relaxing in my arms, it's so hard to support her neck though, she ended up falling asleep in my arms. I found myself thinking- this has probably hardly ever happened in her life- most children are rocked to sleep in people's arms countless times- this little girl- at 7- spends most of her life in a crib, she gets fed, changed, everything in that crib. If we dont come out to hold these children no one does.... After she fell asleep I went over to Hermina- she had an IV in today, and seemed really angry about this- it drives me crazy that these kids recognize me- deemed invalid and useless in society it's obvious they have so much potential... there is something going on in there! Anyhow, the nurse actually had me give her medicine since she seemed to be responding well to me, she still didn't like it though... that little girl needs to be active. There was a new baby there today, her mom was actually staying with her- most of the kids in that room had long since been abandoned- but she was in because she is 4 and a half months- they're worried she might have the same thing as Elaina- my heart just broke for her- she was watching me working with the other kids and was smiling- we told her that her baby was beautiful- which seemed to touch her a lot. Its so easy to judge other parents who leave their kids, but it's not that simple- the doctors encourage it- it scares me to think they may be pressuring this mother to leave her baby, they are often told that the kids are retarded and are going to die anyways.... they dont have wheelchair ramps in this culture, nothing is accesible- they don't realize what a blessing individuals with special needs can really be... Anyhow yes, this mom for some reason connected with me- she actually motioned for me to cross myself and bless the baby(I have returned to the region of orthodox catholicism...)- and praise God for Corny, I had her translate so we could talk- she saw how I interacted with the other kids and thought for sure I was a mother:) but then I asked her if I could pray with her... I am not the type to do that- really, next thing I know I'm praying over this baby, Corny translated, the mother was crying, and after I prayed she thanked and hugged me, and then Corny started praying for the baby, during which time I held the childs shaking mother- how you can connect so deeply with someone you have no way of communicating with is beyond me, but we understood each other- again God reminds me of how loudly love speeks... She was shaking and clinging to me- I know she was holding on to me the same way her heart was holding on to hope- that woman is so longing for hope- she loves that little baby, and so badly wants to fight for it... I really hope she does. I thought I was broken before...