Deliriously in love... with Jesus :o)

Lately life has me feeling like I'm completely dwelling in the presence of my Lord- so many "small" details come together in such a way that I'm constantly aware of His presence in my life- and it's been good real good. Pretty sure God is crazy awesome. Before i divulge you with today's details I suppose I should fill you in on some recent changes in my life- my saviour can move mountains! Not only did I decide to change my major, but I'm transferring... now. It's all come together so fast, I started contemplating it one night after being on the Bethel site and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I couldn't return- I started contacting the admissions counselor at Stout and one thing led to another- I had a nice little plan to spend one last semester at Bethel Tying up lose ends... but yet again, I may plan my ways but God's directing my steps. It all happened insanely fast too, I began looking into options- contacted a church about a potential internship and dialoging through email with an admissions counselor. A final conversation with Karen affirmed where my heart was leading- and now looking back it's funny- it felt like such a big decision and now it all makes sense. I went to Menomonie today to register for classes, and again have been reaffirmed that I'm doing what I'm supposed to- there was one slot left in Human Biology- which meets my lab science requirement that I didn't meet while at Bethel and is part of the degree for vocational rehabilitation if i go that route... The insanity didn't come until later though, yet again I find myself in another situation where I'm having to step out on the waters and not really know how things will pan out- none of it makes logical sense- at all! On the way back tonight I was thinking about that- how I really didn't expect to be at Stout at this point, yet if God wants you somewhere- he'll get you there and occasionally you'll be left looking back asking what happened? Anyhow, we drove by a place called the acoustic cafe and I thought out loud "I wonder if they're hiring" to which Karen responded by offerering to go back so I could run in and find out. When I asked for an application the lady said that actually she was finishing two more interviews today- so I went to stout... and came back with a job? Well almost- she asked me to come back, and my interview went extremely well- right down to her saying she'd probably talk to me tomorrow- and if she calls tomorrow that means i'm hired :) So at the moment I am just reveling in the fact that God is good... crazy good.

We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps...

I love how I never know what my day will look like- the people God will place in my path, the way everything intertwines and all the pieces snap together... I feel so blessed when I have encounters with other people and God uses pieces of my past in ways I wouldn't have imagined. Everything is part of the plan, but often times we have to tell ourselves that. I started off my day over lunch/coffee with my grandparents, I love it when I get to spend quality time with the people I love- one on one, investing in one another (though in their case it's often more investing in me, as I really have little to offer or teach them :)) Anyhow, it was another one of those ironic days, where I talked about something with them, and then had an experience following that relating to what we discussed. We got onto the subject of allowing yourself to be open to the people who God places in your path, my grandma sharing about a neighbor that she's been able to minister to during a difficult time, only for me to later have my own strange- literally in my path moment. It's one of those wonderful rainy days, which calls to be spent curled up with a cup of tea and a good book, certainly not a cold smoothie! This translates into, work was slow, and I was close to going overtime anyhow, so I got off early. Rather than rush right home I headed down the street to Tea Garden, a business that has become one of my favorite places to relax and have quiet time. Anyhow, I met one of the girls who works there on the bus several months back, and we clicked right away on the account of our tattoos (our God is a creative one!) Anyhow, we've discussed having a lunch date long ago, however busy schedules have yet to allow for it- she's been a blessing to me time and time again as she's often inclined to discount or comp my tea :)- yet I've never been able to invest real time in her. That's where the above verse from Psalms seems relevant today, as I said, I planned to get together with her and develop our friendship, but today on my way to tea garden we ran into one another on the side walk and next thing I know I'm sharing my whole faith story. I wish I could share some elaborate wonderful thing that followed, or some awesome way that God used me, but that was it, I couldn't help but think how bizarre it was though, that here I was, encountering someone literally in my path, and opening up to them in a way I'd never plan- only the Lord knows how the pieces all come together.

The Luggage that the Airline Lost...

Sometimes it totally baffles my mind when God reveals things to me... often times they are from the people you wouldn't expect them from- and in circumstances your brain could never fabricate. I have had some unbelievable interactions with people these past two days- I am so energized and excited- and I'm the sort who tends to become so overwhelmed in such circumstances that I'm overflowing and bubbly and tend to want to tell the whole world, whether they want to listen or not...

It started two nights ago, dinking around on facebook I noticed a friend's status mentioned becoming a pastor which somehow led to us talking.... which eventually led to a discovery that God had laid some very similar passions on our hearts, she mentioned going overseas, though was currently held back by the financial burden- and we all know that I've heard that song :) Long story short, I mentioned that going into my story would probably be better over coffee- and she took the initiative so we met up yesterday for tea- It was so refreshing, to share what I've processed overseas and coming back- shocking to find that one of the people who understood the most was someone I haven't had contact with in years... there is something beautiful when two woman, on fire for God get together and share there passions and God given ambitions... the dreams we shared, thoughts we processed- I very much so was left with a burning desire to stir something up... shake the kingdom here on earth.

Today I met with another friend- one who I've sort of been discipling, and WOW... God has just really blessed ME with her presence with my life... and I would be lying to say there weren't times before when I vainly figured it was the other way around- we went for a walk, and as we've been investing time in one another she has increasingly become more whole to me- revealing different sides and dimensions... I feel like I've been learning to see and love the way Jesus does- (though often times VERY FLAWED :() anyhow, we were walking in the woods, and wheels started turning and I just started talking about how God can work in us and through us- and the idea of a mustard seed faith being something small with the potential to grow- and how our faith needs to have that room to grow, we cant place it in a box... we discussed how God uses the week because through them He can be revealed as strong- and the power of the Holy Spirit in her- and let me tell you, it was one of those strange- Ah HAH moments- the day before over tea we had discussed how effective developmentally disabled people can be in harvesting the kingdom- their uninhibited declarations, childlike faith... and I realized that this desire to enable them for the kingdom was a truth that also applied to my friend who isn't developmentally disabled- she has such a deep desire to know God, and grow in Him, and so longs to do something for the kingdom... I cant wait to see what He has in store for her. We prayed together, and she was moved to tears, and it was just incredible- seeing how much she has grown already. I cant wait until she takes that leap, does something out of the ordinary for her- the Lord's already used her in my life... I can only scratch the surface of things to come... on the way back we started singing praise songs as we pranced through the woods, and this undignified behavior continued all the way home. Again I was moved to see her, walking down the streets, making a joyful noise to the Lord, completely unaffected by those we walked past- even genuinely raising her hands in worship... I was moved and humbled... overjoyed to see the love of our saviour flowing through her... um WOW

And the wonderful fellowship continued... there is nothing like the fellowship of believers- and for those of you who know me well- you know that I firmly believe that it is through such fellowship that the kingdom can be shaken and people can be saved... anyhow, we returned and pulled out my guitar, and my desire to continue to learn this instrument grows- I love being able to bless people by leading them in humble worship for the King... Anyhow- we sat on my front lawn and sang, and soon my best friend arrived, we went out for coffee, and that's where the left behind luggage comes in :) It's kind of crazy to look back- and realize how much God has stretched us in the past few years, Aubs and I have been challenged in countless ways- and it's exciting to see how things begin to unfold- quality time with Aubs is always a blessing, but my philosophical thought processing had already been started so this evening proved to be another Ahah moment. A moment I later compared to losing your luggage while traveling overseas... its like the airline ships it to you- but on the way some pieces are lost, and it takes awhile for it to all come together. She was sharing grief about a friend who had drifted, and how hard it was to get quality time, which led us to thinking about the importance of investing and giving time... being in the moment and present where you are- That was a beautiful truth that I brought home from Romania. While there I really discovered that in order to be effective we need to get off this results oriented nature that we've acquired, in Romania I often found my time spent playing basketball until kids were sick of it, letting girls tug on my hair, holding kids until my arms were about to fall off... things that cant be measured- and both of us have had similar recent international experiences. Anyhow, one of the things that was amazing about my time in Europe was that, even in Ireland- I had no agenda- I went with the flow- took things as they came and never really knew what was coming next- and because of that availability I was able to have coffee with strangers, meet people, hear their stories, and experience so much more. When we allow ourselves the freedom to say "Why not" and give people our undivided time so much can be reaped from that- we dont always realize what an impact treating others with worth may have. I shared with Aubree how I think that is one of the biggest tangible changes in me, when I go to work or get together with friends I avoid watching the clock too closely (setting an alarm for work of course) but still, I choose to embrace the moment and the one I am with at that time, otherwise the person is never getting the full you- if you are watching the time the clock becomes another person- one who is hogging all the attention, and if you treat a person with worth, reveal to them that they have value, who knows what that will one day do!? We tied this all back to our kids- maybe we only got to play with them for a few weeks- but the fact that someone saw them as worth the time- someone decided rolling around on the pavement, holding their hand, drawing on their arms, playing basketball- whatever that person wanted to do at that time- was worth our while, that means the world to them. How can someone even begin to comprehend a loving God, a son who cares enough to die for them.... an intangible, unconditional love- if they never experience any form of love on earth?

Now What?

I have been back just over a week. Did I cease to exhist in this time? No, though my blogs become few and far between I promise I am still thinking, feeling, and exhisting... I think I go into a bit of a hibernate mode- not all of me, but definitely a piece of me ends up in a deep contemplative thought not meant to be brought out and exposed until it simmers and develops. Maybe I learn more this way...

One thing is for certain, who I was before is no more, and even as I write this I find it hard to express exactly what is going on- you'd probably best understand over a long car ride or coffee, but seeing as for many of you that's not feasible you get the bits and pieces I am able to accumulate. I am for sure changing my major- which to some of you sounds pretty big, but only on an academic standpoint- It is much bigger than that- it is a very huge God thing. I have NEVER had a four year plans- part of me doesn't believe in them, but this other part has been frustrated with the lack of a sense of direction in my life. That season of my life is currently over (though I'm full well aware that God can and will bring me right back to that place if it is His will) in the meantime, I will be studying Psychology with the hopes of pursuing a Masters in Occupational therapy. WHAT?!? In other words, everything I've worked on for the past three years is more or less out the window- and I have never felt more at peace with a decision. In fact, for the time being, God is telling me to let go of theatre all together... and I currently have no plans of auditioning, or squeezing theatre classes in- and I'm okay with that. I reread that, and still find myself shaking my head, I was told to lay it down, and though it goes against all logic and practicality that's what I'm doing- crazy, but good crazy...

I'm hoping to return to Romania- possibly as soon as Christmas time, and with no interest in the musical I can stay longer than the 10 day trip- who knows what God may choose to do in this time. A friend from work will be coming with me... and I'm hoping to recruit a few more, we're already planning a benifit, getting there will be a growth experience in itself:) I feel like- no I know I left a piece of myself there, and I left, knowing full well I'd return, in fact one day I very well may reside there- God only knows- I'm listening to- not just hearing- God:)

There is nothing in the world as delightful as a continual walk with God, dwelling in his presence:)